And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
