Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
