Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
