I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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