Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
