Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Don't make out with my wife yet
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
