You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
