You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
