there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
