i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
