whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I believe in your delicious
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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