But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
