i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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