Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
