Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
