i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
