I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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