Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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