my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
