Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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