Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
