i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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