Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
