I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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