lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
