I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
