Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
