Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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