I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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