if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize