Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
