Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
