He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
