guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
