everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
