my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
