i was rollin on her like bob the builder
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
