your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
