Your tits are I can't wait for
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
