i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
