the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
