one two three fourrrrnication!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
