Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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