I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
wakey wakey hands off snakey
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
