My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Randomize