I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the condom got lost in my hair
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
