i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
