If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
