My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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