4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
