my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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