Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize