That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
