He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
