I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
