just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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