Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
