Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize