my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize