foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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