Buhtt sex?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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