they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize